The marathon was this last Saturday. I got up and choked down my oatmeal. A foodstaple that is necessary for me, and goes down quite nicely on any other day, that isn't a race day. Go figure. I arrived and was met by S. we went to the store to get post-race hydration items for me. We hung out and justjen came to hang and brought her little emster (THANKS GUYS FOR COMING TO SEE ME OFF!!!!), a cannon went off before I realized it and it scared me! I remember thinking as I crossed the START line, "do I really want to do this?"
Up the hill we went, "huff puff, whew!" I really actually felt pretty good for the first 7 or 8 miles. My legs burned and we went up a very steep hill at 9 1/2 mile and I actually had to take a stop for a breather... I'm lame! But in my defense that hill is a killer, actually this marathon is termed one of the most difficult in North America, like in the top 10. It is technically a trail race with a net elevation change of 4,000 feet.
I dropped out some where between 12 and 13 miles. I ate some cookies, I cried, I knew that another 4 hours of this wouldn't be productive to me. My hip flexor had started to hurt me every time I moved my leg... well that is a lot of movement to cover another 13 plus miles. I thought it out logically, something I don't do very much, and came to the conclusion that I wasn't prepared for the distance mentally or physically, and if I didn't have basic training on the horizon, I would have pushed through the distance, consequences be damned. But a lot is riding on me going to basic. I need to go to close the gap to the next chapter of my life. I need to go to become more productive and be able to provide a bit of a better life for my kids. I wasn't in the front running of this race. It took me almost 3 1/2 hours just to make it that far... so yeah, it shouldn't have been a big deal to drop out. But anyone who is a runner or has put a lot of effort into a project or hobby, knows that having to back out last minute is very hard. As I sit here and most of my soreness has receeded, I wonder, could I have done it without really injuring myself? Was I just hitting a wall and would have gotten a second wind? The chute would have only been a few miles away, and that is down hill, I was almost to that part, but I will never know and that disappointment of never knowing if I could have will eat away at me, but with time I know that I've made the smart decision, and I know that I need to respect this race and this distance, this isn't one of those pancake flat races with a hill or two strategically placed...
Okay, I have to go draw some blood cultures... I thought I'd let you know what happened... sorry for the let down after so much suspence, I know you were checking here every 5 minutes to get the nitty gritty on it :-)
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