Pictures!

Me running on the track... I look unhappy...










Finally I got my camera, my USB cord and my computer all in the same spot at the same time!
Yay...

If anyone objects to having pictures of themselves or their kids (my relatives) on this site, let me know and I'll remove them, but I'm going to put them up for now either way... since it is easier to ask for forgiveness than for permission :-)

This is a giant roll of toilet paper, on the sink....


I thought it was hilarious since that is something you see at home, not in a hospital!

(we found out that the housekeeper had the wrong key and couldn't unlock the dispenser...
what kind of a nation are we, that we need to lock up our TP?)

This is Chris at the Halloween Carnival at his school, despite the uncanny likeness, he is not Bob the Builder.... he is a mechanic :-)

Now we have Eryn at the same carnival, dressed along with her mom, her grandma and her aunt (not pictured), ready for a slumber party! There's a bit of Desarae in the picture, too, but she has her own also.

It is crazy how much attitude a 4 year old and exude. I think it is the crown mixed with sugar consumption...

she was actually behaving quite nicely, the camera caught her in the middle of saying something.

Apparantly being a pretty princess is hard work! The flash didn't even wake her up from that very uncomfortable looking slumber in her car seat!

Monday I ran 20 minutes on the treadmill. I think I made it 1.93 miles, but I'm not positive about it. I could probably math it out

Tuesday I lifted upper body and did 50 situps
I went only 1.87 miles today in 20 minutes

I did the math: monday was only 1.58 miles... so yay I did better today.

Christmas Presents are on their way. I got an email this morning that a portion of my order had shipped. YAY!

Today is day 3 of my new found commitment to healthier eating and actually working out :-)

I had previously fallen in love with the body for life way of eating, so I'm back to that. I prefer to eat small meals throughout the day... back when I thought I was leaving soon for basic I tried to adjust my habits to the 3 squares and maybe some snacks... big mistake... and now I am leaving soon, and well, I don't care. I will work out the issues when I get there.

Yay for me, I've turned down spaghetti last night (not made to my specifications of healthy, so....) and I ate a chicken spinach salad and had a portion of a sweet potato baked in the microwave... dry... as in no butter or toppings... I actually like them like that.

I turned down an offer for a peanut butter cookie... yay me again!

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It is slow at work today. I'll say it, I'm kinda hoping to jinx it "SLOW"... huh, nothing happened.

Ah well, the main doc is out of town again. At least he was awesome enough to fill out my letter of recommendation to nursing school before he left yesterday... which is awesome because I just gave it to him yesterday. Horray. I'm waiting for the other two letters to come in, one from his chemo nurse (one of them anyway), and the other from the manager of the Laboratory... when they look at those, do they even care who wrote them? Are they weighted by prestige? Hard telling.

I also need to register to take the nursing school entrance test (NET)... that ought to be fun! no really, I mean it.

So either way, I'm slowly ticking things off my to-do list, which is really impressive since I haven't even really made a to-do list :-)

I woke up super early and went to the gym, 20 minutes of interval training as prescribed... but I think I'll add some warm up and cool down time... I don't like to hop into things like that. Maybe there was one there and I missed it. I like the work out though... then I tanned real quick, trying to continue conditioning my skin. I think in a few more weeks I'll be able to go just twice a week to maintain until I go... I'm not trying to get super dark or anything, just enough to keep myself from burning at inopportune times.

Have a good one!

Dorkness OUT!

just testing something...ignore me

Sing along if you know the words:

"If you hate Wells Fargo, clap your hands *clap* *clap*"

Ah I just LOVE the holidays... since when, maybe I just didn't notice before, did banks say you could only spend x amount of your own money using a debit card? Then when you call them to see why you can't charge on your card they say because it is for your protection to only allow so much in charges... no they can't override it over the phone...(how does their computer know if I'm there in person or on the phone?) I called my local branch and they could override it for today only... uh okay... I guess it is better than nothing. I unerstand they need to protect themselves from shopping sprees and bounced charges and whatever, and identity theft... but yeah, I'm on the phone with ALL the right info saying, yes it is my charge, please let it go through... I'm like Sandra Bullack on "THE NET" I don't like to enteract with real people, just leave it on the doorway and I'll come out and get it when you're not looking :-)
Well obviously I'm not that bad, but I don't like pressure shopping... If I want to pay $25.00 in pennies, I WILL... of course I use the U-scan so I can be my own cashier... but whatever... I can't believe how banks handle their customers... Like I don't know that they make millions off of people like me each year (obviously not me, cuz I guarantee there isn't a million of my dollars going through there a year :-) ) so yeah, some common courtesy would be awesome!

On a happier less rant-y kind of a note: I had an awesome weekend. Thursday was a quiet night with my parents, my one sister and her daughter and myself with a giant ham and some other foods... yummy... then I made a carmel pecan cheesecake from scratch, thankyouverymuch, and then gave it to my ex-in-laws. I felt bad for them because it was just the two of them for thanksgiving dinner. Had I known that before I would have invited myself over. Quite honestly I had assumed since their son had my kids for the day that they'd be over there. I guess when his parents bought him his own house to live in... he wanted to make dinner himself... I would have invited my parents if it were me, but I guess if he were a thoughtful considerate man, we might have still been together... or not, but still I couldn't get over the inconsiderateness of it all!
I gave them the cake on Friday and thanked them for all they do for me. I appreicate them and I want them to know that... someone should thank them! :-)
Sunday was Thanksgiving the sequel... both my sisters and my regular family, a few of my parent's friends and kids came over and it was good times... not to mention S. came over and very sweetly helped me (as in did it for me and I pretty much shuffled papers as he handed them to me) clean my room. It was embarrassingly messy... and now that it is all organized and awesome, I might be able to get some homework done tonight!
It was awesome to have him in the same room as my family... it doesn't really happen on purpose, they don't really see eye to eye with me on life, so it has been kind of separate thus far. So yay! Good times!
I hope everyone else had a good time...
and I'm sad to report that in 10 weeks and a half a day (depending on when I leave on the 6th) I'll be on my way to Texas... I'm not too sure what to feel about that...
Dorkness OUT!

Solicited Harrassing

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I think we should all gang up on the people who own the house I want to move into. It would be alright, just no violence... just annoy them a bit. I don't have the credit to buy it outright, but apparantly there are other ways to make it work. I've contacted them, by mail, certified mail, so I know they've gotten it. Of course they just got it on Monday, but still I'm impatient.

I'd love to be in a home where I can make MY rules before xmas. I don't know if it will happen or not. I don't know why somone who had a house on the very stale market for that long (at least 2 months) isn't willing to just rent it out for a measely 6-12 months... then sell it to the renter... guaranteed ontime rent also!

But ah well, I'm snobby so I'd think: if you can't afford it on your own merits then why would I let you live there? But again, I like to think the world has less mean people wandering around :-) It just sucks sometimes to hear the word "NO" so often. I know how a toddler feels. *SIGH*

So it is turkey day tomorrow... I think I'll go to the storage place and organize boxes... sounds like excitement doesn't it :-) There is actually a purpose for it. I'd like to run during the day tomorrow since I don't have any kids and I'm pretty sure we get a few hours of daylight, even if I don't see them since I'm at work for all three of those precious sun lit hours. (not really bright, still dimmish, or twilight... something like that) but if it stays above 20 below I'm all for a run outside cold (disease) or no cold.

Happy turkeys all!

More proof that the world revolves around me:
I wanted chicken noodle soup... I have a cold and it just sounded good, plus it is 40 below zero outside!

I checked the online menu for the cafeteria... okay wow! We're having chicken noodle soup today... but that isn't always 100% right... so I go and check in the cafeteria in person. And there is no soup, the whole pot is missing! Uh-oh, what a cruel world... oh wait, what is that you say, they're bringing out a fresh pot of chickeny-noodley-goodness?
Saweeet! I got two bowls, one for now and another for a few hours from now when I'll be inevitably hungry again.

Such is the woes of a girl who for some unexplained reason had gotten herself out of eating breakfast, which is quite unusual, indeed.

I have a cold. I tell myself it is "allergies" that way it will go away with a blink of an eye, rather than 7-10 days!

This past weekend, and into the present, I've been viewing my relationship a bit differently. In all honesty not much has really happened to cause this shift of view. I guess I was able to step back a bit and see things almost through another's eyes. I've picked up things that he used to do when we first got together... perhaps he's been doing them all along and I hadn't realized it. I had been so focused on negative things or what was going wrong.

Maybe it was the all night talk session that we had, or impromtu dates that seemed to just make themselves available... all of a sudden a very booked week for both of us had some cancellations at the same time! That never happens. The gods are smiling down on us, and I am very thankful for that. Times like this will need to be fresh in my mind, memories this fond will help me bear the time away from my family and loved ones. Times like this will remind me that no matter what I decide to do in life, he will be there supportive and awesome in his own ways... and it doesn't really matter if people understand what we're about or what we plan on doing in the future, or what we've done in the past. I love him, and he loves me and all else is insignificant in the big picture.

Eventually I'll get my act together and post a family picture on here... we just got them back from Sears Portraits... not my preferred place to get portraits done, but we are posting about being grateful, not gripeful!

Little doses of reality make me wonder if I could be a nurse. Today, like all other days when I'm not in the sanctity of knowledge that the end is coming, I feel as if the world isn't as rosy as it may first seem.
When I work with cancer patients, there are the greiving processes, by both the patient and the family members. They know what might happen. A young teenager who is being kept alive after a gun shot wound to the head, until they decide what to do with her organs, well that's just a bit much to swallow. My condolences to the family, regardless of the nature of her death.
Every time I work these shifts, it makes me realize that most of my problems are puny and I really need to stop whining. I have my health, even with some stuffiness and a bit of sniffles, I am very healthy. I have awesome kids, and an awesome support network that may not be there all the time, but I know they'd be there when it is really important.
So what I'm living in a place I hate, so what if I don't have strong credit and I can't go and buy whatever I want... I can't take them with me anyway. But I will always have memories of my daughter standing on a seat at a basketball game holding a small bucket of popcorn, and dancing to music... she can move to a beat and recognize a beat at the age of 4... I'm so proud of her.... I can hardly keep a beat while I practice my saxophone... and my trumpet, I can hardly hold a note :-)

I'm here at work - do not adjust your monitor, it really is saturday - I volunteered for it. And it really is only 3 hours... not even a shift really, so I can't complain, and I'm.... well, busy, so I guess I'll be back to update this tee hee!

I can't feel too badly about my running this past summer. I was going though the webpage that has a compilation of the races I ran last summer on it. I ran all of the events in our cup series. I realized that I had taken 7th out of 83 in my age group (18-29). For women overall I was 111/202.... so while most of my points were because I was one of 2 people or 1 of maybe 15 people in my age group, but so what. I was there and they weren't right? Not to say that they weren't at places like Boston, and spent the summer recovering or something... but still I say: "good show old chap!"

The movie "Flushed Away" was very good! I laughed with my kids through the whole thing! Of course if there had actually been heat in the theater we were in, it would have been even more enjoyable... 50 degrees is much too cold for me especially when it was almost -20 outside!

Huh, I thought I'd have something to say once the window opened up... I have lots to say, to lots of people, but here isn't the place for it, since the people I need to talk to don't read this (hopefully). So I guess I'm here to say have a good day, and I will leave with the knowledge that even though I had to punish my son last night, he still loves me and was happy I was at his production of "What is America" today.

I'm not a horrible mother, after all.

Have a good day...

You know, this template doesn't have an area for titles, but I've been giving them titles anyway, but not today, because it is my blog and I can honestly do what I want, now can't I? :-)

I finally got around to taking my kids to "Open Season" it was funny, and we all enjoyed it!
I got my 3500 calories burned last week, which oddly enough was difficult for me
This week it will be 3500 calories plus 900 ounces of water... again, oddly difficult since I truely enjoy drinking water

I haven't gotten my tests back from last week, but I'll go and get my mail tonight to see if I passed either one :-)

It is cold out, here, by the way last night it was supposed to get to -40 degrees, but there was snow on my car this morning and my thermometer in my car said -11 so.... I dunno... but still, I haven't been running outside, although I'd like to this weekend during daylight hours. Hopefully it won't put anyone out to hang with my daughter for a hour or so...

I hope everyone's day is good... I'm awaiting some news today, and I hope it is good not bad.... (that news has nothing to do with babies, by the way...)

Oddly enough I had dream about my ex-husband this morning, it was the last one before I got out of bed. It kind of made me wish I had just gotten up at 4am and missed it altogether.

It wasn't a bad dream, it wasn't really a good dream... it was definately a weird dream.

I was ordered by the court to move back in with him. He was still "with" his wife, because she showed up as I'm rummaging through piles of stuff, and he went outside to talk to her... It really had a tone of dutifully fulfilling a role that I was glad to give up. I didn't want to be the one holding his hand per se... in the dream I had asked what the deal was with the kids not being able to answer the phone because his wife* I used her name* didn't want to talk to bill collectors. He said something about his job not being deployed so he wasn't sure if he should pay the bills or save it, or blah, blah, blah... it didn't make any sense... so really what my role was in all of this is to take his checkbook, pay all of his bills, he had no control of his money, and specifically all my money was still my own, we had nothing together... I think it is my controlling personality coming out in my dreams. I must think that something needs to change over there and apparantly only I am capable of making that happen, like I can see what is best for him.... grocery shopping was done with his money, but then I deposited half of the bill from my money into his account... totally odd dream... thank goodness I don't have to do that.... the whole dream was really with heavy heart... we both would have rathered been with someone else... he with his wife and me with S. odd.....

Grumpy Gus

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I was doing so well, exercising and whatnot, but last night things didn't click. I got frustrated, discouraged and I looked in the mirror... it may be my imagination but my butt looks huge. I'm sad now.

Actually right now I'm okay. I'm feeling a bit flat, but other than that, I'm not overly-emotional like I was last night.

I feel tired and cold, and I hope I'm not getting sick or something. Things have been going well, like I mentioned.

So with 4 days in a row at the gym:

I can almost pull down 120 pounds... poor form, but I can almost do it.

I can be a cardio marathoner if there is something good on the boob tube...

I just cancelled the subscription to my running coach... ah well, I was wasting both our time. He'd put the schedule together and I'd look at it, and not do it, so now I do what I want, I guess. As long as I can keep my weight down, and work towards a faster 2 miler I'm happy.

My knee is achey today... did I mention that I feel tired.

Oh right that's probably because I don't actually "work" as was pointed out to me by a co-worker of sorts... kinda hurt my feelings and kinda pissed me off, I'm a very busy girl, I deal with more patients on a daily basis than most departments... I just make it look easy and I have a knack for filling my down time. I like to sleep at night so the more I get done at work, the less I have to do at night when I could be sleeping or at the gym :-)

Thanks to my ex-fahter-in-law who went out of his way to bring me lunch... homemade chili (his mommy's recipe) and a cherry yogurt... it was a lot of chili but somehow I managed :-) its all in the pacing!

Have a good day!

Buff Girl

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Yep, that's me Ms. Buff... not to be mistaken for the other blonde... buffy the vampire slayer... I'm kinda fond of vampires, since it is my "day" job, which really is kind of ironic because most vampires come out at night... *sigh* the beauty of living in Alaska where it is perpetually dark, even during the day :-) Oh right back to what I was saying. This past weekend was drill weekend... yay. I got no weekend, but these days of pretending I'm in the military, and I'm the only one in civilin clothes, but they set time aside for me to work out so I can be physically ready for basic... so seriously: I GET PAID TO WORK OUT.... so I'm excited about that, well who wouldn't... that is as close to being a professionl athlete I may ever get!

However, there is a guard marathon team I can try out for... I'll do that in few years.... you know, after I learn how to be fast :-)

Oh yeah, I'm still off track aren't I? I decided that I was going about the pull up idea all wrong... I don't need to do low weight, high rep for my upper body, because I don't need to do 40 pullups. I only need to do 5! So I changed it up and on the lat pull, I pulled 110 lbs... now that obviously isn't my full weight, but it is more than the wimpy 70 pounds I've been doing... so I did 2 sets of 5 of 90 pounds
1 set of 2 of 110 pounds
then on the assisted pull up machine I did:
1 set of 5 at 110 pounds
1 set 10 at 70 pounds

That may be small fry type of stuff to most, but I'm proud of myself for pushing myself.

Also I did a bunch of cardio

saturday 20 mins on the TM
35 mins on the elliptical

sunday 30 mins on the elliptical
10 mins on the recumbant bike

then add a bunch of weights and abs and pushups and lunges and stuff, yeah no wonder I'm a bit tuckered out this monday! :-)

I saw Santa Claus 3 on Saturday evening... it was cute even thought I wasn't really in a jolly mood. Stay for the outtakes people, its a Tim Allen movie, so naturally there are outtakes.

Dorkness OUT!

Apologies

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Borrowed from Beth's Blog
Meanwhile, O, who had had an equally long and tiring day, was waiting at the track. He had just finished tutoring someone (way at the other end of Pittsburgh) and was driving straight to the track to meet me for the workout. Why in the world he would do that I'm not so sure. What I am sure of though is the fact that if the tables were turned, I would have probably been at home on the couch under a big blanket with hot cocoa! :) What I'm also sure of is the fact that nothing important in life can be accomplished without the love and support of others in your life. It's just too hard. And I won't ever believe that someone becomes successful by themselves. There are always a lot of unselfish people behind the scenes that get them there.

This is a nice display of thanking someone for going above and beyond for you. Talk of unselfish people made me realize that I am, infact a selfish person. That was made obvious last night, but really didn't sink in until this morning. So.....

I'm Sorry

I'm sorry for making you worry, I'm sorry for not telling you I wasn't coming right over, I'm sorry that I'm not better at articulating when I'm upset, about what I'm upset about; I'm sorry that I turned your generosity and hospitality away. I'm sorry that I blamed you for things that couldn't possibly be your fault or even in your control. I'm sorry I didn't just say "I'm Sorry" when you first got ahold of me. I'm sorry that I didn't realize I didn't have my cell phone on me, because I would have answered it if it had been on me. I'm sorry that I approached the whole situation with indifference. I'm sorry that I got angry and defensive, then sarcastic and hurtful as the night progressed. I'm very sorry.

If I ever write a book, I will totally dedicate it to you because you cared about me enough to search the ditches for me and my car even after just 15 minutes of being missing. I'm sorry for not seeing things through your eyes. I'm also sorry I ruined your dinner, since I'm assuming it was your full plate of food on the table when I picked up our daughter. I can't say it enough and it just may be too late to make a difference any way. I'm very sorry for being a selfish jerk.

Addictions

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Someone introduced me to Chai Tea Lattes the other day. I've only had one, but I can feel the subtle undercurrents of an addiction forming. Ever since Tuesday, I've been eyeing the coffe carts, the ones in the malls, the ones in the cafeterias, the ones on almost every street corner.... I can feel the sinful coveting of another one brewing through my veins. Someday it will overtake me and I'll spend another $2.50 for frothy flavored milk... gosh, a whole gallon of milk is something like $4 up here, and I'm paying half of that for a quarter of a cup mixed with air and cinnamon and nutmeg and I'm not sure what else... but wow, put it into perspective. Perhaps I should buy myself a little latte machine (or ask santa) and figure out how to make them myself for as little as .30cents per serving :-)

I worked out yesterday. And I was proud of myself. I thought for sure that pride would bolster me out of bed this morning, but apparantly the fatigue of PMS trapped me under my cave of blankets. Ah well, I've been sneaking off to the employee gym to do some minor lifting, specifically the chest press.... those pushups aren't going to magically appear in February.

I called the hair place that I get my hair cut, well, I will when I get it done... They were closed. I asked them to call me back so I can set up an appointment for February 3rd.... that way my hair will be super short for my "vacation" and I won't have to worry about ponytails, stray hairs on my uniform and messy hairbrushes and what not.... So much to do, where to start?

I've got midterms tomorrow so maybe I'll start with studying for them, eh?

Dorkness OUT!

Update

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I took the beeper from the x-ray lady... then suck off to the exercise room for a run. I got 9:51 before the pager went off. I took off running to my work station, a bit sweaty, but ready to work. I'm not a slacker, just a multitasker... but my supervisor was there to give me a lunch break. Out of breath and sweaty, I walk away. I'm done running for now, but only because I'm in my work clothes and shoes... the shoes, yeah, my old running shoes, which means I probably shouldn't be running in them.

I wanted to see how long I could hold the "race pace" for my 2 mile PT standards that I want to get... turns out the treadmill doesn't go that fast. In fact, it tops out at 7.2 miles per hour. Ah well, I burned 103 calories... fat free yogurt anyone?

Ski Hill

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Doesn't open until the 9th of November, so I have another weekend to debate if I want to spend the money for season passes.... 12 visits will pay for it... so it will be worth it IF i go at least 13 times... but still over $400 is kinda pricy... but can you really put a price on your health and your children's happiness?

Boy put it that way and I guess now I'll have to buy it :-)