Today has been one of those days where you just really want to beat the hell out of something/ someone. I am so freaking crabby. Soccer practice was flat, the girls really didn't want to be there, and everytime I sent them for water breaks, they went to the swingsets instead. Hello, not swing practice, soccer practice... say it with me s o c c e r...
I've yet to do my run, my sisters kids are at my mom's house so now I have to drag my feet on putting my kids to sleep, because of "fairness" well the fairness is that I don't dump my kids onto other people, but if I have a legit, reason for needing care (other than work) I get bitched at for it... well excuse me. I take ALL of my kids with me to the soccer games instead of saying oh you're too much of a bother to go, so stay here and we'll come back for you later! Dah!
They're eating popcycles right now which is totally fine, but grrrr I need to head out. I'm tired from not getting any sleep last night, but I want to be a good athlete. I know that I can't be one if I'm lazy and don't work out...
Okay enough of this crap. I've got that race on Thursday so we shall see how that goes. I'm getting antsy for that, and antsy for knowing my departure dates. I am worried about my kids. I know they'll be fine, but will I?
I'm afraid they won't be okay without me, at the same time I am afraid that they will be... how confusing is that? I guess that is where my co-dependancy ways have settled, not necessarily on a man, but on my kids. Can one be worried about being replaced while gone for a small amount of time in the grand scheme of things?
My father in law had made the comment today that between me and my kids' step mom, (x hubby's new wife) there is no comparison. But she isn't the one I'm worried about, I think. I don't think, I don't know... golly what was I talking about, how about nevermind....
better mood tomorrow? he he maybe I'll get more sleep, maybe I need more caffeine :-)
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