All day long it has felt like a rain cloud is looming over my shoulders. Not quite a threat of releasing its contents upon my head, but lurking there as a threat.
I feel tired, especially in my eyes. I desire warmth and comfort only provided by a bed. I want to sleep the day away.
Oh, gosh, Dork, are you depressed?
Well, no, I am stressed. There is a difference, a fine grey area that can really only be deciphered by the person experiencing the emotions.
I am trying to avoid my own self-doubts. I am trying to shy away from my long run tonight, trying to convince myself that I am too tired to set out upon the journey that will surely make me feel tired but satisfied at the end. I know I can cover the distance, I also know, that I cannot cover that distance in a speed that I would like. I am still too slow for my liking. Of course aren't we all? Most of the runners in teh world are looking to either improve their time, or their waist line. I am feeling the pressure of my impatience rein me in. I am frozen in its wake. I am so impatient for progress, that I can neither progress forward nor backward. How ironic.
Running isn't the only worry, but for now that will be the only one that I discuss.
I want to push through it, I know I need to, I know my confidance will soar just by completing the run. It is okay to be slow, we all have to start somewhere. I didn't run in college, heck I hardly ran in HS. C-team basketball didn't require much in the form of sprints :-) I'm not used to pushing my limits and making myself uncomfortable.
I need to keep thinking....
Self-Improvement is supposed to be uncomfortable - embrace it - I am getting stronger... each step will make me stronger.... right after this nap ;-)
I do feel tired. I really did sleep poorly. I can't tell if I'm coming down with something or not, but I know I need more than 3-4 hours of sleep each night. Just a fact of my life.
So I've got an appointment with the realtor at 6:30, practice for the daughter's soccer team at 7, then grab some food really quick, then out the door for a run!
So have a good night all.. of course it is only 330pm, so... oh yeah, I have to sign up for the race I'm running this Sunday.
Dorkness OUT!
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